A Misogynist by any other name…

images9QEV3SGH manI read an article this morning about a man that was owning up to his misogynistic ways and ending his post with a heartfelt apology to his wife for putting up with him after all their years together.

His motivation for coming out was not readily clear and some of the examples he used were a bit questionable. (i.e., leaving dirty laundry on the floor knowing his wife would pick them up later)

Is this misogyny or is it laziness?

The thing that struck me most were the many hateful comments he received in response to his post, and mostly from women.

It was as if his article opened the door for people to dump on him. To call him selfish, entitled, arrogant, a below average husband and basically a worthless human being.

Isn’t part of solving a problem admitting there is a problem in the first place?

I am no expert, but I wonder if those throwing stones would fare any better had the word misogyny been replaced with, say, feminist, sexist, racist or troll?

Perhaps, to get to the core of the debate, one needs to delve into the mindset of the writer- which in a blog post is almost impossible to do.

Here is some clarification in case you were wondering.

mi·sog·y·ny noun; dislike of, contempt for, or ingrained prejudice against women.

sex-ism noun; prejudice, stereotyping, or discrimination, typically against women, on the basis of sex..

On the surface, these two words seem interchangeable, but they are as different from each other as are murder and manslaughter. The dividing factor being intent.

I am a woman. As most women, I have dealt with differing forms of sexism my entire life.

I have also dealt with real ‘He-men-women-haters’, the very definition of misogyny at its best, or at the least, its worst.

I can tell you, there is a difference between misogynistic and sexist, but the line between the two is a bit fuzzy.

Men who hate women? (Misogynists)
Men who think they are better than women only because of their gender? ( Sexist )
The kindly grandfather type that continuously degrades women in a joking fashion? ( Both? )

Instead of asking are they or aren’t they, the question should rather be, how are they allowed to remain this way? Either one.

What role do we, as a society, play in letting them continue this bad behavior?

It is easy to sit back and say, do this, or do that when you come across these situations, but when someone with these proclivities is in a position of authority, it’s hard to speak out when your job, or your marriage or your funding is on the line.

At some point, a line needs to be drawn in more than just sand to put a stop to this, but where exactly that point is, has yet to be determined.