Caution-less(wk 26)

beauty-dream

Fear– The innate sense of a potentially looming danger. Usually imagined and harmless but paralyzing just the same.

One commonality I’ve noticed working through this book is the need to confront the fears that are holding you back, deal with them and move on.

Without any prelude, the thought of confronting a lifetime of fears in the span of a year would have been overwhelming and off putting, but when handled in small bites, a week at a time, these life changes become manageable.

Even though some lessons are repetitive, sometimes that’s the only way we can make lasting changes that will stick; by tackling them head on.

This week takes a look at what ifs. What have you held yourself back from doing because of self-doubt or the fear of looking foolish? What new things have you kept yourself from doing or what fun have you not allowed yourself to have?

I have had so many missed opportunities, it’s safe to say I’ve missed out on much of my life by playing it safe.

When I consider all the choices that have landed me to this exact moment in time, and I wonder why I am not happier, it’s because I lacked the courage to chase my dreams and as a result, I am living the lackluster life of those decisions.

The future belongs to those who believe in the beauty of their dreams
~Eleanor Roosevelt

All those time I said no when I was afraid to say yes, that is why I am here.
I am responsible for the decisions I have made and the ones I didn’t make as well.
By choosing not to decide, it is still making a decision…a decision to prolong the inevitable or to continue being stagnant.

Had I made different choices, the landscape of my life may have been completely different as well. But I will never know.

All I do know, is if I continue to let my fears dictate my choices, there is a better than average chance that my life will never change for the better either.

All our dreams can come true if we have the courage to pursue them
~Walt Disney

Homework:
This week is to make note of the things not done because of fear and the challenge is to face the fear and do it anyway.

That is a two-fold challenge that does not necessarily go hand in hand. I have an ongoing list inside my head of the things I didn’t do because I let the fears get in the way. Just because I didn’t do them then, does not mean I have a desire to pursue those actions now. Let it be enough that I can look back and see where I should’ve turned left instead of right, and know the error of my ways. Hopefully I have reached an age where I can learn from that and move on.

One thing I have wanted to try is, and the action I will take towards this goal is:
I have a list for this, too. I have an ongoing list of Want To Do’s, that at first glance doesn’t look like anything fearsome but there must be something holding me back there because even though my list seems relatively easy, since it’s inception in 2012, much of it has been left undone. So obviously there is some kind of mental block there.
I think this week I will start here.
I will choose one thing from this list that stares at me each and every day and I will get it done.
Now, it is a busy time of year, so I will give myself some space and not a deadline of a week to do this. Since it is on my radar to complete with accountability at hand, I will do at least one thing, but I do need to not kill myself in the process.

Update:
-Meditating seems hard when you are pressed for time. Need to find alone time to do more.
-This week was outrageously busy with a holiday thrown in to boot. I knew this would be a busy time for me but I always seem to underestimate the toll it takes on me physically. I am tired beyond belief and find it hard to string two words together. That’s what a service related job can do to you. So right now, just keeping my head above water is considered a win for me.
-I have some painting projects to get through and even though I paint everyday, I need to up the quota. If I can.
-The holiday threw me off of my online schedule as well so I have to take my online class in addition to posting this. Always something to do.
But I have been thinking, if the only thing I do is give thanks for what I do have and where I am at, then that will be enough.